Headache/Hemorrhage
If you have experienced all of the previously mentioned reactions to a mathematical incident, and yet you have not done anything to get away from the demonic plague (or are forced to endure), your body may give you another warning.
This is the second last warning that your body will give before it starts to physically react (violently) to the plague.
Headache's show that your body is trying to numb your brain, and the pain that you feel in your temples or in your forehead is just your brain trying to adapt to the anesthesia. However you body has endured the agony of mathematics for quite some time if you have reached this second last warning, thus your body is tired and requires sleep to solve the problems it faces without risk of doing something wrong.
Sometimes things can go wrong. So blame mathematics in this case.
Your body may numb your brain too much causing you to have a hemorrhage, which means that a blood vessel in your brain will burst and you will either suffer a massive stroke or die.
This is rarely the case, as your body is highly effective in dealing with it's natural sworn enemy...mathematics.
Good health my fellow defenders!
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Monday, January 8, 2007
Symptoms Continued...
Constant rubbing of eyes/Eyelashes falling out
If you experience an itchy sensation of the eyelid (just in the corner of your eye) or you feel that an eyelash has fallen into your eye, it is the second warning that your body will make (after itchy skin). The eyelashes falling into your eyes will produce a much greater sense of distraction as it causes you to rub one eye, losing eyesight in that eye while you rub. The second phase of this warning is to have an eyelash fall into a specific location that causes your eye to close altogether so that the eye is not damaged.
If you experience this, rub away.
Although annoying it may be, it is your body's way of telling you "Get out now, while you still can!".
The third phase of this warning, is total blindness...or rather eyelashes fall into both eyes making it impossible to concentrate or even see the mathematics in front of you.
If you experience the fourth phase, which rarely happens, and has only been reported once. Your eyelashes will either slash your eyes (not damaging them of course) causing your eyelashes to immidiately crash down onto the eyelashes. This effect causes swelling of the eye lids, and temporary blindness. Therefore it is not possible, even if you will it, to open your eyes.
If you get the fourth phase of this warning, seek medical attention or if none is nearby:
1. Get a friend or partner
2. Tell them to place a cloth under warm water and hold until the cloth is warm (not hot)
3. Place cloth over your eyes and let it sit for an hour
Eventually your eyesight will return as your body heals the wounds it incurred upon itself to keep the evil mathematical equations and forumlas away from your line of sight.
Be well my friends.
If you experience an itchy sensation of the eyelid (just in the corner of your eye) or you feel that an eyelash has fallen into your eye, it is the second warning that your body will make (after itchy skin). The eyelashes falling into your eyes will produce a much greater sense of distraction as it causes you to rub one eye, losing eyesight in that eye while you rub. The second phase of this warning is to have an eyelash fall into a specific location that causes your eye to close altogether so that the eye is not damaged.
If you experience this, rub away.
Although annoying it may be, it is your body's way of telling you "Get out now, while you still can!".
The third phase of this warning, is total blindness...or rather eyelashes fall into both eyes making it impossible to concentrate or even see the mathematics in front of you.
If you experience the fourth phase, which rarely happens, and has only been reported once. Your eyelashes will either slash your eyes (not damaging them of course) causing your eyelashes to immidiately crash down onto the eyelashes. This effect causes swelling of the eye lids, and temporary blindness. Therefore it is not possible, even if you will it, to open your eyes.
If you get the fourth phase of this warning, seek medical attention or if none is nearby:
1. Get a friend or partner
2. Tell them to place a cloth under warm water and hold until the cloth is warm (not hot)
3. Place cloth over your eyes and let it sit for an hour
Eventually your eyesight will return as your body heals the wounds it incurred upon itself to keep the evil mathematical equations and forumlas away from your line of sight.
Be well my friends.
Sunday, January 7, 2007
Symptoms of an Allergic Reaction to Mathematics
Itchy/Irritated skin
During exposure to mathematics, the human body reacts in many different ways to express it's confusion, frustration, and annoyance to why the person would ever be introduced to such a vile study.
One of these ways is to cause the persons attention to detract from the subject of mathematics, and be consumed in scratching those itchy nooks and crannies on their body. This is a sign that you should immediately cease what you are doing and leave the present location with haste.
If you do not heed your body's warning, it will produce other such symptoms that I will report in later blogs.
Many times, the constant scratching will produce reddened skin around the area that is itchy. This production by the body, is a second phase to the initial warning of danger, and it is meant to cause distraction and worry about what is wrong with said body part.
Although this initial warning usually allows for dramatic escape from the persons situation, sometimes one cannot so easily leave without being detected by mathematicians, or even parental guardians of the cubes of infinite terrors. In such a case the person will usually be further exposed to the harmful elements of the mathematical plague.
If you are lacking in confidence, wait until more serious warnings are given by your body...as it can endure much hardship without succumbing to the darkness. But, if you have a high stance in your confidence (and unethical background) tell the mathematician or parental guardian of the cubes of infinite terrors that you feel ill, or have a headache. The guardians will usually be brought back into parent mode, and will ask if they can do anything to help and may even whisk you off to bed where your body can recover from such lengthy exposure.
Mathematicians on the other hand, will not be so easily fooled.
If you have a math teacher or even a local Mathematician, you will have to be crafty and illogical to escape their grasp. If you can wait it out, do so. But most cannot or will not be able to endure the agony that is brought on by long exposure to the plague of eternal darkness. The dread may eventually take you, and the defense you sought to hold up will be broken. If you see a chance for escape (bathroom break, coffee break, dropped pencil, a partner interrupting, "random" 911 call or fire alarm, etc.) take it.
The initial warning rarely turns the mathematicians back into their human form, that should have kicked in and sympathized with you, and your brave soul will have to take it like a warrior of sorts if you are to live through your ordeal.
Peace my brother,
for the Dark Arts are held at bay,
with no chance of entering our hearts.
For we stand strong,
in the sight of utter evil.
For we take every breath,
in turn,
as if it were our last.
No mathematician,
no parental guardian of the cubes of infinite terror,
shall take from us our god given free will and soul.
No matter what the cost,
we must,
stand strong.
During exposure to mathematics, the human body reacts in many different ways to express it's confusion, frustration, and annoyance to why the person would ever be introduced to such a vile study.
One of these ways is to cause the persons attention to detract from the subject of mathematics, and be consumed in scratching those itchy nooks and crannies on their body. This is a sign that you should immediately cease what you are doing and leave the present location with haste.
If you do not heed your body's warning, it will produce other such symptoms that I will report in later blogs.
Many times, the constant scratching will produce reddened skin around the area that is itchy. This production by the body, is a second phase to the initial warning of danger, and it is meant to cause distraction and worry about what is wrong with said body part.
Although this initial warning usually allows for dramatic escape from the persons situation, sometimes one cannot so easily leave without being detected by mathematicians, or even parental guardians of the cubes of infinite terrors. In such a case the person will usually be further exposed to the harmful elements of the mathematical plague.
If you are lacking in confidence, wait until more serious warnings are given by your body...as it can endure much hardship without succumbing to the darkness. But, if you have a high stance in your confidence (and unethical background) tell the mathematician or parental guardian of the cubes of infinite terrors that you feel ill, or have a headache. The guardians will usually be brought back into parent mode, and will ask if they can do anything to help and may even whisk you off to bed where your body can recover from such lengthy exposure.
Mathematicians on the other hand, will not be so easily fooled.
If you have a math teacher or even a local Mathematician, you will have to be crafty and illogical to escape their grasp. If you can wait it out, do so. But most cannot or will not be able to endure the agony that is brought on by long exposure to the plague of eternal darkness. The dread may eventually take you, and the defense you sought to hold up will be broken. If you see a chance for escape (bathroom break, coffee break, dropped pencil, a partner interrupting, "random" 911 call or fire alarm, etc.) take it.
The initial warning rarely turns the mathematicians back into their human form, that should have kicked in and sympathized with you, and your brave soul will have to take it like a warrior of sorts if you are to live through your ordeal.
Peace my brother,
for the Dark Arts are held at bay,
with no chance of entering our hearts.
For we stand strong,
in the sight of utter evil.
For we take every breath,
in turn,
as if it were our last.
No mathematician,
no parental guardian of the cubes of infinite terror,
shall take from us our god given free will and soul.
No matter what the cost,
we must,
stand strong.
Saturday, January 6, 2007
Introduction - A Sense of Defense
Although the plague has reached our doorstep, we will not succumb to it's foolish demands. The following post will give a detailed outline into how we can keep math out of our heads.
Avoiding Equations
This task can only be completed if you are a free spirit, untouched by the cubes of infinite terror.
If possible, complete the following with a partner. Two people can keep each other awake and protect the other when danger rears it's contagious, diseased head in anger.
Rules for this task are as follows:
1. Do not, under any circumstances, read any books pertaining to math.
2. Wear noise canceling headphones, and listen to heavy metal music - 4 hours a day
3. Do not play Sudoku Puzzle Games
4. Do not watch any Public Broadcasting or Learning Channels or Educational Channels
5. Stay away from anything pertaining to math
6. Avoid Mathematicians at all costs (use of force against hostiles is allowed)
7. Do not listen to Mathematical Gibberish, it will put you into a trance and you may succumb to the cubes of infinite terror.
May the brotherhood of righteous defenders, defend these lands from the rising darkness.
For defense against the dark arts of mathematics is our number one priority.
Avoiding Equations
This task can only be completed if you are a free spirit, untouched by the cubes of infinite terror.
If possible, complete the following with a partner. Two people can keep each other awake and protect the other when danger rears it's contagious, diseased head in anger.
Rules for this task are as follows:
1. Do not, under any circumstances, read any books pertaining to math.
2. Wear noise canceling headphones, and listen to heavy metal music - 4 hours a day
3. Do not play Sudoku Puzzle Games
4. Do not watch any Public Broadcasting or Learning Channels or Educational Channels
5. Stay away from anything pertaining to math
6. Avoid Mathematicians at all costs (use of force against hostiles is allowed)
7. Do not listen to Mathematical Gibberish, it will put you into a trance and you may succumb to the cubes of infinite terror.
May the brotherhood of righteous defenders, defend these lands from the rising darkness.
For defense against the dark arts of mathematics is our number one priority.
Friday, January 5, 2007
Introduction - An introduction of sorts
math·e·mat·ics :
1.
(used with a singular verb) the systematic treatment of magnitude, relationships between figures and forms, and relations between quantities expressed symbolically.
2.
A contagious study of vile, horrendous relationships between figures and forms.
The very essence of the subject bringing both mental and physical harm to those that cannot understand the evil ways of mathematics. Math is a gory subject, but I must let it be known to the world that this cult of mathematicians and their plotting ways are beyond natural order already, and nothing can stop them.
However, there are many factors that make up the allergic reaction to evil...sorry, math.
This blog will be an insight into the ways of natural reaction to the demonic powers that plague the very soul of our being, the subject may be a bit controversial and many of the cult members may strike out against me with mathematical gibberish and nonsensical blabbering...but we must stand strong if we are to defend ourselves from these worthless soul-munchers.
This blog will help give a path to those that want out, a way to defend themselves, and a way to freedom...away from the constraints of math and it's every growing, ever engrossing, powerful cubes of infinite terror.
Contents
1. Introduction
1.
(used with a singular verb) the systematic treatment of magnitude, relationships between figures and forms, and relations between quantities expressed symbolically.
2.
A contagious study of vile, horrendous relationships between figures and forms.
The very essence of the subject bringing both mental and physical harm to those that cannot understand the evil ways of mathematics. Math is a gory subject, but I must let it be known to the world that this cult of mathematicians and their plotting ways are beyond natural order already, and nothing can stop them.
However, there are many factors that make up the allergic reaction to evil...sorry, math.
This blog will be an insight into the ways of natural reaction to the demonic powers that plague the very soul of our being, the subject may be a bit controversial and many of the cult members may strike out against me with mathematical gibberish and nonsensical blabbering...but we must stand strong if we are to defend ourselves from these worthless soul-munchers.
This blog will help give a path to those that want out, a way to defend themselves, and a way to freedom...away from the constraints of math and it's every growing, ever engrossing, powerful cubes of infinite terror.
Contents
1. Introduction
a. An introduction of sorts
b. A sense of defense
2. Symptoms of an Allergic Reaction to Mathematics
b. A sense of defense
2. Symptoms of an Allergic Reaction to Mathematics
a. Itchy/Irritated skin
b. Constant rubbing of eyes/Eyelashes falling out
c. Headache/Hemorrhageb. Constant rubbing of eyes/Eyelashes falling out
d. Rash/Red dots appearing on skin
e. The Bumps
f. Hair loss
g. Confusion, disorientation, nausea, heartburn, upset stomach, and mood swings
h. Inability to sit still (scratching, moving sitting position constantly, rubbing eyes, etc.)
3. Defense against the Dark Arts of Mathematics
a. Weapons of Defense against Mathematicians
b. Weapons of Offense against Mathematicians
c. How to protect your home and family from Mathematicians
d. Setting up barricades to protect against Mathematician Intrusion
e. Burning at the Stake - the only way to quell the evil within a Mathematician
4. The democratic way to do it
a. Ban Mathematics in your town or city
b. Form a militia to make patrols of your local area
c. Distribution of things that scare Mathematicians
d. Eat lots and lots of pie
e. Send messages by carrier pigeon
5. If you are forced to endure the terrors of Mathematics
a. Defense against torture
b. How to escape the grasp of Mathematicians
c. How to formulate logical (although not mathematical) ways of rescuing friends and family trapped within the confines of infinite evil
d. Deception; fake mathematics to deceive the uncanny terror inducers
and more...
This blog is completely for fun/as a joke, and nothing in this blog should be taken seriously. If you do, don't tell them we sent you.
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